A Collection of Esoteric Ephemera
By L.L. Squib
Author of “High Life in Patala Under the Autarchy,” Etc.
Beyond the veil of reality lies a quasi-dimension full of the infinite possibilities that only magic can provide. The Wizard’s Tower is a riddle at the heart of this strange dimension of magical energy, bridging 108 universes in a symphony of mystery, intrigue, and danger.
Within this monolithic pocket universe, impossibly different beings come together to solve mysteries and recover artifacts from a bizarre menagerie of alternate realities and fantasy worlds. All under the watchful eye of the titular Wizard: Parciloquy the Peculiar!
The following is a collection of my observations, gleanings, and notational ephemera on topics pertinent to the Wizard’s Tower and its 108 worlds. It is my hope that, meager though they may be, my thoughts herein provide you with entertainment and elucidation sufficient to bring you to ecstacy.
This is something I was never able to do for my ex-wife, which is one of the many reasons she divorced me. This is according to her divorce lawyer and boyfriend whom both she (privately) and I (publicly) refer to as “Adolph Dickler.”
Although I went completely missing for a full year and then spent the next two years imprisoned at various black sites such as the lovely Camp X-Ray, I am now apparently the bad guy for not paying child support. Even though you moved yourself and our children into Adolph Dickler’s five-bedroom McMansion in the West Hills immediately after I was body-swapped into another dimension.
Despite the implications of Herr Dickler’s court summons, I find it hard to believe you are impoverished, pauperized, demonetized, nor are you ‘disinherited from wealth’s privileged bounty‘ whatever that means. Although I would expect the kids to be angry with me, their relief at seeing me safe and back home puts lie to your assertion that they have disowned me.
I spent the first hundred years of my captivity within the body of the enigmatic Parciloquy caring very deeply about whether or not I would make it back to you despite your repeated assertions that you not only do not love me but actually dislike me during the last two years of our marriage.
But after magically cloning you several times to try and work things out, I finally realized that you and I will never work as a couple. When lightning strikes twenty three times in row, it does not take a thousand year old master of the thaumaturgic arts to realize the futility of it all.
So my dear former wife, it is with neither fondness nor anger I bid you adieu. I must state for the record, however, that no matter what legal shenanigans your boyfriend-at-law thinks he can pull off, thanks to the binding treaties of a dozen nations you will never see a penny from me. Sorry!
To my dear, unnaturally sweet children: aside from the money you have made giving interviews and appearing on daytime talk shows, I can only offer you two things: my paternal storge and affection which you have lacked these past few years and which I promise to shower you with once more now that I once again inhabit Alpha Earth, and a small piece of advice. It is the same advice I was once offered by an old friend when I found myself struggling to master astral projection in Earth Gamma: Never whistle while you’re pissing.
With that, for those readers now, in the future and possibly in the past, I present to you the Worlds of the Wizard’s Tower.
ESOTERIC COSMOLOGY AND THAUMATOLOGY
There is an order to the universe, even when it appears to us a chaotic mess. Magic and Technology are closer cousins than many realize, and sometimes may be indistinguishable from each other.
Summary: A discourse in two lectures on the fundamental physical and metaphysical natures of reality and how we can shape it to our needs.
ΕΚΑΤΑΑΘ: ENCYCLOPEDIA OF THE MULTIVERSE
Doorways to 108 distinct timelines in the histories of two planets are yours to explore if you find yourself within the Tower. Take care, however: without the proper key your trip is strictly a one-way affair.
Summary: An enchiridion of the world behind each doorway in the Ekataath: the 108 portals connecting the Wizard’s Tower to the multiverse.
THE WIZARD’S TOWER HANDBOOK
The Wizard’s Tower has functioned as a trans-dimensional nexus connecting 108 time-lines of Earth and Agarth for millions of years and has been home to sentient creatures for just as long. The relics and secrets of histories stretching back into the geologically-distant past clutter the Tower.
Summary: A primer and survival guide for those who find themselves within the Tower, willingly or otherwise.
BIBLIOGRAPHY AND ERRATA
Making friends with the Librarian is an extremely difficult task, but it is well worth the effort. Most sources presented do not exist in this timeline, unfortunately. I include them here for completeness.
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