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ἀεὶ ὁ θεὸς ὁ μέγας γεωμετρεῖ τὸ σύμπανAnonymous, from Plato
(Always the great God geometrizes the universe.)
We exist in a universe which is stranger, more subtle and more complex than can be reasonably imagined by mere mortals such as you or myself. It is an unending Mandelbrot pattern that beggars understanding even by those who dare to call themselves gods.
Therefore if you hold the opinion that my written discourses are—as one reader put it—the confused rambling of a sub-educated schizophrenic, you may not enjoy this disquisition with which I attempt to describe the rigging and scaffolding of this strange reality we inhabit. I admit my arguments do not always seem logical, I present sources who have not yet been born and I offer no mathematical proofs whatsoever. But a certain parsimony with regard to empirical veracity is precisely what is needed when explicating the pseudo-sciences, in my humble opinion.
My therapist Dr. Liu believes that I suffered a prolonged psychotic break from reality which has now led me to create my fantastic and bizarre tales of some other-worldly existence as a coping mechanism. But to her I can only shake my head with pity; she herself was a victim as was I, though her memory of it has been wiped from existence.1
I am legally obliged by the courts of several nations to not divulge anything not already in the public record regarding what occurred during those months. That information is considered Top Secret by one or all of them, of course. So for the few people who ignore the news and for the extra-temporal eavesdroppers,2 therefore I will summarize in saying that my manic episode caused an international incident, created and destroyed a multi-billion-dollar global corporation linked to a centuries-old Illuminati conspiracy, confirmed the existence of time travel, is blamed by some for instigating Brexit3 and finally resulted in the truly horrific deaths of four hundred and thirteen cult members living within a six-story underground bunker somewhere in the Arctic Circle. That is about as much as I can legally admit, and no doubt you have grown nearly as weary as I with the constant news coverage so I shall spare you the gory details.
However there is nothing which prevents me from telling you—just as I told my C.I.A. interrogators at Guantanamo Bay—that although the alleged crimes against both humanity and physics were committed by someone wearing my physical body, that someone was not me. In truth, my body was possessed by another, outside consciousness.
This is not a psychological metaphor: my body was inhabited by the mind of Parciloquy the Peculiar: a member of a cabal of wizards calling themselves the Aurantian Concordat from the 69th Aeon of the Inevitable Realm of Atlass. I myself was transubstantiated into his alien body where it was planned I would lay comatose while he prosecuted his schemes in this world. Unfortunately for him fate intervened on my behalf and after escaping the clutches of his magical cohort, I explored the worlds of the multiverse for nearly a millennium. It seems also that my return was fortuitous for this world, as it utterly derailed his plan for world conquest at the last possible moment.
The only confirmed picture of my body as inhabited by Parciloquy. This still image is taken from a 1967 Warsaw Pact film documenting the famed telekinetic Nina Kulagina. Parciloquy had the assumed identity of Soviet parapsychologist Eduard Naumov, no doubt part of his early attempts to alter our timeline. From my body’s standpoint, the demonstration documented in this film took place roughly twelve years ago.
I realize this assertion is not only one which can be described as certifiable lunacy, but also rather convenient considering it was my only defense in answering the charges of terrorism, extortion, espionage and mass murder during my trial at the International Crimes Court. However, it is the truth and I shall continue to proclaim it as such until I finally go to my long-delayed reward.
Bowing to common wisdom, it is assumed that infinity-hopping wizards and body-swapping accountants are pure fantasy. This is the prime reason why I present my writings on the Wizard’s Tower as being complete works of fiction, not based on real people or events. Hopefully you will not be as aggravated and confounded as my G.R.U. interrogators were when, during a stint in a Crimean black site, I told them point-blank that nothing I am claiming is actually true, but it’s exactly the way things are.4
I completely understand your skepticism. The quantum scientific age is already straining the bounds of rationalism, but even millennia hence there will be the rigid thinkers who incestuously mate their unbelief to dogma. But do you really think that I, a mediocre accountant from a mid-sized Cascadian city, was so distraught from my recent divorce and so wrapped in narcissistic delusion that I was able to literally invent time travel in order to create an extra-dimensional machine intelligence using the resources of an Illuminati cult who have not-so-secretly ruled the world for the past 500 years?
Certainly, that makes complete sense. I, a socially-awkward introvert who barely graduated from an online university with a C- grade, who can claim more than one thousand bleary-eyed hours spent playing World of Warcraft, a bong in one hand and a bag of Funyuns in the other… are you supposed to believe I was the maestro of a global intrigue stretching back to the Byzantine Empire and involving untold wealth and the fate of nations?
Wizards and body-swapping aside, these assertions are not a matter of mere delusion. The facts of both the Paddington Conspiracy5 and actions culminating in the global upheavals of 2016 are now a matter of public record. Even if I am suffering from profound delusions as to my mental state, the truth as documented by the lawyers and researchers representing the League of Nations speaks for itself.
Yet, as I just wrote, for the purposes of civilization’s collective sanity I want to clarify that I am making all this up. My only true hope is that you will find entertainment and perhaps some philosophical elucidation within the following pages, and not earth-shattering revelations that completely destabilize civilization as we know it. God knows it is destabilized enough already.
You’d be surprised at the version of this world I left behind; the timeline of Alpha Prime before Parciloquy was in many ways far worse than this. Just off the top of my head, I can think of multiple wars fought across the planet by the United States that never happened with the American Union you are familiar with.
Global climate change was just as much of a problem in the version of this Earth I left behind.6 The version of Alpha Earth I left was also far more stable in a geopolitical sense, despite some widening cracks.
During my protracted stint as a time-traveling wizard, I resided within a strange pocket universe which I dubbed the Wizard’s Tower: a magical nexus of 108 alternate realities. Believing myself trapped forever in Parciloquy’s alien, undying form I decided to live out my dangerous boyhood fantasies of action and adventure with the unspoken assumption that if I managed to get myself killed I would at least achieve freedom of a sort.
This resulted in numerous near-death experiences, a great deal of panic, a fair amount of guilt, a few bouts with what could only be characterized as antisocial personality disorder and—most important of all—ultimately finding love in the harshness of the multiverse only to immediately lose it. I would also like to state for posterity that I consider the few world-ending apocalypses I caused as being morally balanced by my thwarting of numerous other apocalypses over the years.
It is a jarring experience to live for hundreds of years in the body of an immortal tween only to be returned to your own saggy, middle-aged frame which is destined to die and take you with it at any moment. It also feels all the worse to me that in your experience, my existence in the Tower took less than two years in this world.7
As I have mentioned, in my view I was living outside of this version of Earth designated Alpha Prime for hundreds of years, just shy of a millenium. Judging by the premature aging of my body, Parciloquy’s time-traveling exploits seem to have lasted far more than two years as well. All told, you could say that I am a thousand-year old person living inside the body of a fifty-eight year-old man who was born forty-five years ago. Or something along those lines.
A mind evolved to store only around eighty or ninety years of existence grows weary after so many turns of the wheel. Based on my experience, a sort of mental decline inevitably comes with extreme age; this is true regardless of the influence of environmental factors. Even within a body immune to disease which does not age or decay, the experienced mind still invariably undergoes a sort of encephalopause. I personally believe it is due to a build-up of memories and experiences which weigh down the consciousness. But just as I am no physicist, neither am I a psychologist.
Therefore I admit readily that what you are reading is likely no better than any other half-baked treatise on perpetual motion engines, alien conspiracies, or religious armageddons. When one has personally visited the Chapel Perilous, it is both a blessing and a burden to become a party to one’s own mental dissolution. Being back in my original and completely normal body has been a rather jarring experience, and I can admit in those early days I was a tad psychotic, even without the stress of being held in a top secret torture facility.
It should now be clear that a great deal of what I am to claim is completely unverifiable. It is a good thing to keep in mind when considering some of my arguments. While I pledge to you that I will not lie, the truth is virtually never what it seems and language is useless where even mathematics fails. Indeed, were I not myself a firm transcendentalist, the cognitive dissonance of living a life where effect more often precedes cause would have probably broken my mind a long time ago.
As this document is being reconstructed only from the dream-like memories which I recall from my time inhabiting the body of an immortally pubescent wizard within the enigmatic Tower, it is at present a work-in-progress as I process my ordeal with the help of my therapist and care-taker Dr. Liu.8
Regardless of its empirical and analytical shortcomings, I hope that the knowledge contained within will inspire the right people in this world. For make no mistake, Alpha Prime—our Earth—lives in a constant state of peril from forces far greater and more insidious than you could countenance or yet imagine.
McMinnville, Oregon is not terribly far from Happy Valley. This UFO sighting captured there in 1950 was Parciloquy’s initial jump, in my opinion as someone experienced with non-magical time travel. Jumping from 2017 to any temporal instance earlier than the 1950’s would become increasingly problematic from the standpoint of subjective temporal cohesion.
Through the vehicle of pure science we have delved into the mysteries of the physical universe and extended our reach into both the cosmos and microcosmos. But even as the power our species wields over the universe grows, so grows the peril of own self-annihilation with each new generation.
There is hope, however. And I make that claim not because I am an optimistic old chap. Based on my contact with the people and histories of numerous other realities, I have noticed there always comes a time for advanced societies where the maximum technological output matches the maximum chance for self-destruction. Not all survive this perilous window, but I have also found that those who avoid this trap will advance not merely to a new stage of civilization, but an entirely new stage of evolution.
This advancement means that humanity will no longer be subject to the constraints of space, time and energy. It presents many more dangers than our current level of nuclear technology. However it will also join us to our infinite selves which even the death of a planet cannot erase.
At the present we are still confined to this planet and appear to be driving our civilization off the metaphorical cliff. If we of Alpha Earth manage to kill ourselves before unlocking the secrets of time and space then we will have snuffed out an entire timeline of humanity’s progress and caused a great hurt to the larger universe.
This impending sense of doom is the prime reason for which I now write. Our world is on the brink of multiple catastrophes, and it seems ever more likely the 22nd century of Alpha Earth will not arrive without at least one occurring. Indeed, the catastrophic Anthropocene Extinction Crisis is already occurring around us even now.
The me from this world is a simple formerly certified public accountant, not any sort of scientifically trained genius. I have no credentials or bona fides to my name. Even had I—as my Calvinist parents so fervently wished—achieved more than a humble Bachelor of Arts in Accounting from the University of Phoenix, the ideas presented herein fall far outside the realm of scientific experimentation and squarely into the realm of faith.
So I will make no bones about it: I have written and collected these essays to inspire only a select few, the few who are chosen by that ineffable destiny to which we are akin. If the rest of you enjoy it as a charming fantasy, then I am delighted you enjoy it. But believe or believe not, it makes little difference to me.
Despite the paucity of academic rigor in my discourse, I hope that what I learned in the Tower will be of value to those scientists and scholars yet to come. It is after all my home as well as yours.
Amongst the seeds of the scientific theories currently proposed by particle physicists is the discovery that can be the catalyst to prevent global nuclear war in our own time. A breakthrough in scientific understanding with the ability to ensure our survival in the face of this world’s nuclear-fueled suicide pact; it is the prize within the quantum puzzle box. One which will open new frontiers in both space and time and ultimately lead to our mastery of both.
As with any scientific leap in understanding, the engineering fruits of the concepts expressed in ideas like M-Theory and the Holographic Principle represent our best way out of the trap of self-annihilation. But theories such as those are only the beginning; the true catalyst is waiting both ahead and behind us.
What follows I hope will entertain my fellow Alphans and inspire the right ones over the next two hundred years as we collectively face perhaps the greatest challenge our species has since we were first forced from our Saharan cradle to wander this bizarre, horrible and beautiful planete sauvage we call home.
– Lancelot Luis Squib, Happy Valley of the City of Roses, Clackamas County, Republic of Cascadia, November 28, 2019
First Edition: April 20, 2020
- I first met Spring Liu, a psychiatrist (and fourth-degree Freemason) from Sugarland, Texas in the summer of 2016. At this time her body was possessed by Parciloquy’s adventurous associate Laddys Fermille, although this was not something I was aware of until much later when I met Xir Fermille in person.
- Yes, Mr. Cayce: I am already aware that you will be reading this document at some point in both my future and my past. Let me suggest something specific for your notes: Everything you need to know about the physical world can be answered through science. Have you considered that mind reading already occurs every day through speaking, writing, body language and the like? The past lives inside the present always even as the present lives within the future. You will keep repeating your life until you realize that you and I and the universe are really but one being.
- To be specific, I was blamed to my face by a certain powerful woman whose name rhymes with “greenbalizabeth.”
- I also earned a bottle of vodka and a a few days outdoors after leading them to the ancient site of flooded Lemuria in the northwestern Black Sea. The Lemurians always did love their gold; I’ve never seen stone cold sociopaths so delighted as that pair were. Although they were far less happy when I murdered them and stole the boat.
- The Paddington Conspiracy and the final revelation that all the UFO sightings which crop up throughout history are the same UFO —a time-traveling anti-gravity machine piloted by myself— is a superb example of Parciloquy’s mad genius as well as his sociopathic pragmatism.
- Climate change, whatever the cause, is a simple fact of life in every reality I have ever visited. As Octavia Butler wrote, God is change. It is a universal truth in every sense.
- I re-read the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe recently and had a good long cry at the end. I know exactly how those quasi-adult-children must have felt when they got back to our world. It is as if all the beauty and possibility were completely sucked out of the world, leaving a dry husk where only a simulacrum of truth can abide.
- I am quite practiced in a variety of meditative disciplines and was taught Ayurvedic medicine by the Ascended Masters of Shamballa. Thus I can assure you that I am quite sane. I do not feel that I am in need of mental therapy, but it was mandated by the International Crimes Court so I suppose I have no choice.